I co-founded a Catholic classical school! And love talking about it 😂 Call anytime. While the school was already in motion when this piece by Dan Burns came out, I must say it strongly reinforced my own commitment to the effort and helped me see it as part of a larger, desperately needed social reform. I remember emailing it to other Board members. https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2021/02/74225/
Oooh, yes! I should have linked that essay here, too - so good and so helpful in conceptualizing the link between our small communities and the broader culture!
And I would love to chat! I’ll email you - I have a project in the works that I would love your feedback on.
Hi! Two things I’m doing as a homeschooling mother other than building community with like-minded families—
1) cultivating relationships w neighbors. I was stunned when we bought our first house that people didn’t really meet or know each other. I found it really sad and I set out to change it. Among other things, I started a neighborhood book club. In our current area (we moved after kids), we’ve tried to set the tone of kids freely playing and parents communicating and welcoming them as they do so. People were rigid at first but it’s slowly becoming more of the vibrant neighborhood we want to see!
2) I’m going to begin running workshops for girls teaching them about their bodies — that they are wise and abundant and incredible and thus deserving of the utmost respect. I spent the weekend getting trained with three other women and I feel sparks of a revolution in consciousness around womanhood!
I would love to hear more about both of these things! I’m particularly curious about how to establish more “free range” norms for children’s play. I find that the kids in our neighborhood tend to engage in more structured (and adult supervised) sports, while my kids are running around making up crazy make believe scenarios and collecting worms and building fairy houses, haha. I know child-directed play and autonomy are so good for kids, but I do worry about other parents thinking I’m neglectful for letting my big girls run around the yard while I’m inside with the toddler. I have a sense that that’s a common sentiment - fear of judgment by other parents promoting helicoptering, vs actual fear for kids’ safety.
Yep, your kids sound like our kids! 😄 Yes I agree that’s a common fear and I have felt that too, but as we’ve interacted they have gotten to know our vibe and know we are thoughtful, tuned-in parents — we just value free play! Like anything, when you’re doing something differently you have to confidently hold the vision and people generally come around. Especially when they see the results! Kids on our block have SO much fun now and do not need much adult direction or supervision. We did have an incident with pets once, but it was a great opportunity to practice apology and forgiveness (and thankfully the pets were not harmed)
The No. 1 thing that has boosted our children also being free-play kids and not scheduled sports team kids is quality families living in our neighborhood within kid walking or biking distance. As Bowling Alone quantified, people living in suburbs dramatically limits their willingness to join in community activities, especially unscheduled and unstructured ones. But I see lots of people of our type overvaluing the "backyard chickens" (i.e. wanting to live far away from community) and undervaluing the immense importance of connecting their children to quality peers in a low-supervision, high-creativity environment.
Yes!! I totally agree. I grew up in the country, and I sometimes wish my kids could have 60 acres to roam, like I did. But we chose our neighborhood precisely because of its density and walkability. There are so many families with kids in walking distance. I think it just takes time to get to know your neighbors and find families that click with yours, and we’re still pretty new here. I think my kids are also juuust on the cusp of my giving them more independence to roam. My 8yo is cautious and responsible, but my 6yo… not so much. But in a couple years I’m thinking I’ll give them walkie talkies and let them loose (within a reasonably sized radius).
Maybe a tangent, but - my kids love to listen to Beverly Cleary audio books (mainly the Ramona series, but Henry Huggins too). I remember as a homeschooled country kid thinking their mid-century American life of school and neighborhood kids sounded so magical. But to my kids, I think it just sounds normal, since it’s so similar to their lives! I love that there are still places where you can find/build community like that.
Yes, absolutely! We've been so fortunate that we moved into an older neighborhood in a small-ish town that is just at the point of turning over, so we have families moving in all the time!
And yes, the pedestal-ing of the "homestead" life is such a thing these days. I've always told my husband I'd never want that. I grew up on a farm and I know the realities and the isolation! (Not that it can't be a good life, of course.) I feel like a city girl at heart, and I feel like that sense of vibrant in-person community is really at the core of that!
I just heard of a book coming out next week called Family Unfriendly… looks like it will address the topic of free/unstructured play for sure! I just ordered it!
About ten years ago I started a Classical Homeschool Program simply by sending out a message on a listserv and inviting some friends. This grew by word of mouth and ended in a group of almost 60 students ranging from grade 2 to high school. I set out clear rules in a guideline document, including tech use (as in no phones even for parents), which helped to create clear expectations and resulted in a committed group of parents and students.
The most interesting aspect was that the homeschool program was open to participants from all denominations (we had a rich mix of protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox families), with the understanding that the program was based on “a classical education model, rooted in traditional, historic Christianity, designed to train the student’s mind to absorb information, think analytically, and express ideas clearly”. Non-Christians were welcome to join. In my experience over the years, this was the most inter-denominational setting I have ever come across, and it worked wonders in connecting people and building understanding.
As the parents had to stay on the premises for insurance reasons and tech was off limits (and I hired teachers to lead the classes), we spent lots of time talking, encouraging, and asking each other questions. The protestants could ask the Catholics "why do you worship the saints - is that not idolatry?", the Orthodox would in turn talk about how their liturgy involved all the senses etc. These exchanges were more powerful for these parents than any apologetics book could have been. And importantly, because they all actually liked each other, they were highly motivated to connect in spite of their differences.
Finally, we were one of those "weird" families with children playing freely as well. Feel encouraged, as you are spreading seeds of the type of play that will benefit your children tremendously and grow their creativity, self-confidence, and physical abilities in ways that organized activities snuff out.
I co-founded a Catholic classical school! And love talking about it 😂 Call anytime. While the school was already in motion when this piece by Dan Burns came out, I must say it strongly reinforced my own commitment to the effort and helped me see it as part of a larger, desperately needed social reform. I remember emailing it to other Board members. https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2021/02/74225/
Oooh, yes! I should have linked that essay here, too - so good and so helpful in conceptualizing the link between our small communities and the broader culture!
And I would love to chat! I’ll email you - I have a project in the works that I would love your feedback on.
Hi! Two things I’m doing as a homeschooling mother other than building community with like-minded families—
1) cultivating relationships w neighbors. I was stunned when we bought our first house that people didn’t really meet or know each other. I found it really sad and I set out to change it. Among other things, I started a neighborhood book club. In our current area (we moved after kids), we’ve tried to set the tone of kids freely playing and parents communicating and welcoming them as they do so. People were rigid at first but it’s slowly becoming more of the vibrant neighborhood we want to see!
2) I’m going to begin running workshops for girls teaching them about their bodies — that they are wise and abundant and incredible and thus deserving of the utmost respect. I spent the weekend getting trained with three other women and I feel sparks of a revolution in consciousness around womanhood!
Feel free to reach out!✨
I would love to hear more about both of these things! I’m particularly curious about how to establish more “free range” norms for children’s play. I find that the kids in our neighborhood tend to engage in more structured (and adult supervised) sports, while my kids are running around making up crazy make believe scenarios and collecting worms and building fairy houses, haha. I know child-directed play and autonomy are so good for kids, but I do worry about other parents thinking I’m neglectful for letting my big girls run around the yard while I’m inside with the toddler. I have a sense that that’s a common sentiment - fear of judgment by other parents promoting helicoptering, vs actual fear for kids’ safety.
Yep, your kids sound like our kids! 😄 Yes I agree that’s a common fear and I have felt that too, but as we’ve interacted they have gotten to know our vibe and know we are thoughtful, tuned-in parents — we just value free play! Like anything, when you’re doing something differently you have to confidently hold the vision and people generally come around. Especially when they see the results! Kids on our block have SO much fun now and do not need much adult direction or supervision. We did have an incident with pets once, but it was a great opportunity to practice apology and forgiveness (and thankfully the pets were not harmed)
The No. 1 thing that has boosted our children also being free-play kids and not scheduled sports team kids is quality families living in our neighborhood within kid walking or biking distance. As Bowling Alone quantified, people living in suburbs dramatically limits their willingness to join in community activities, especially unscheduled and unstructured ones. But I see lots of people of our type overvaluing the "backyard chickens" (i.e. wanting to live far away from community) and undervaluing the immense importance of connecting their children to quality peers in a low-supervision, high-creativity environment.
Yes!! I totally agree. I grew up in the country, and I sometimes wish my kids could have 60 acres to roam, like I did. But we chose our neighborhood precisely because of its density and walkability. There are so many families with kids in walking distance. I think it just takes time to get to know your neighbors and find families that click with yours, and we’re still pretty new here. I think my kids are also juuust on the cusp of my giving them more independence to roam. My 8yo is cautious and responsible, but my 6yo… not so much. But in a couple years I’m thinking I’ll give them walkie talkies and let them loose (within a reasonably sized radius).
Maybe a tangent, but - my kids love to listen to Beverly Cleary audio books (mainly the Ramona series, but Henry Huggins too). I remember as a homeschooled country kid thinking their mid-century American life of school and neighborhood kids sounded so magical. But to my kids, I think it just sounds normal, since it’s so similar to their lives! I love that there are still places where you can find/build community like that.
Yes, absolutely! We've been so fortunate that we moved into an older neighborhood in a small-ish town that is just at the point of turning over, so we have families moving in all the time!
And yes, the pedestal-ing of the "homestead" life is such a thing these days. I've always told my husband I'd never want that. I grew up on a farm and I know the realities and the isolation! (Not that it can't be a good life, of course.) I feel like a city girl at heart, and I feel like that sense of vibrant in-person community is really at the core of that!
I just heard of a book coming out next week called Family Unfriendly… looks like it will address the topic of free/unstructured play for sure! I just ordered it!
About ten years ago I started a Classical Homeschool Program simply by sending out a message on a listserv and inviting some friends. This grew by word of mouth and ended in a group of almost 60 students ranging from grade 2 to high school. I set out clear rules in a guideline document, including tech use (as in no phones even for parents), which helped to create clear expectations and resulted in a committed group of parents and students.
The most interesting aspect was that the homeschool program was open to participants from all denominations (we had a rich mix of protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox families), with the understanding that the program was based on “a classical education model, rooted in traditional, historic Christianity, designed to train the student’s mind to absorb information, think analytically, and express ideas clearly”. Non-Christians were welcome to join. In my experience over the years, this was the most inter-denominational setting I have ever come across, and it worked wonders in connecting people and building understanding.
As the parents had to stay on the premises for insurance reasons and tech was off limits (and I hired teachers to lead the classes), we spent lots of time talking, encouraging, and asking each other questions. The protestants could ask the Catholics "why do you worship the saints - is that not idolatry?", the Orthodox would in turn talk about how their liturgy involved all the senses etc. These exchanges were more powerful for these parents than any apologetics book could have been. And importantly, because they all actually liked each other, they were highly motivated to connect in spite of their differences.
Finally, we were one of those "weird" families with children playing freely as well. Feel encouraged, as you are spreading seeds of the type of play that will benefit your children tremendously and grow their creativity, self-confidence, and physical abilities in ways that organized activities snuff out.