About that weird speech...

Plus: a call for your stories

Even if you’re not a political junkie, you’ve probably seen coverage of Biden’s “fiery” state of the union address and the decidedly weird response by Alabama senator Katie Britt.

I generally agree with this assessment:

To be honest, I don’t think I had even heard of Katie Britt before last week, and my high-school-speech-and-debate-champ self cringed at her delivery. (If you too want to cringe, do yourself a favor and watch Scarlett’s Johansson’s impression of Britt on SNL.)

Photo source: NBC via YouTube.

Still, even with all the weirdness, the speech makes me hopeful. Could it be a sign that the GOP—however hamfistedly—is starting to wake up to the formidable political power of moms?

Here’s a snippet of Britt’s speech:

I want to make a direct appeal to the parents out there — and in particular, to my fellow moms.

Many of whom will be tossing and turning at 2 a.m. wondering how they are going to be three places at once tomorrow and somehow still get dinner on the table.

First of all, we see you, we hear you, and we stand with you.

I know you’re frustrated. I know you’re probably disgusted by most of what you see going on in Washington. And I’ll be really honest with you — you’re not wrong for feeling that way.

Look, I get it. The task in front of us isn’t an easy one. But I can promise you one thing: it is worth it. So, I am asking you, for the sake of your kids and your grandkids, get into the arena.

I agree with Britt on this point: moms should “get into the arena.” I think there’s an underrated way for moms to do this—one that strengthens rather than competes with their care for their families.

Moms—like most people, I think—often look around at all the suffering and dysfunction and feel powerless to do anything about it. Sure, we can vote, but… is anybody really feeling hopeful about Biden vs. Trump 2.0? Luckily, electoral politics aren’t the only way to create change. In fact, I don’t think they’re the best way. Yes, the law is a teacher, and our laws matter. But so many other forces form our characters and the fabric of our society in much deeper and more influential ways, from our relationships with our parents and siblings, to the schools and churches we attend, to the neighborhoods we live in.

I mentioned in my last post that I was rereading books by Yuval Levin and Nicholas Christakis. I think their descriptions of institution-building and social networks offer an incredibly helpful way of thinking about cultural renewal.

No More Mothering Alone

Nearly a quarter of a century ago, sociologist Robert Putnam described the breakdown of our civil society in the influential 2000 book Bowling Alone. There were lots of reasons for the increasing atomization that has characterized Americans’ lives since the highly unified cultural moment of the 1950s, and Yuval Levin’s Fractured Republic does a great job of identifying them.

One part of the story that can be hard to grapple with is the impact of women—and particularly, mothers—entering the labor force en masse. Stay-at-home moms used to act as the glue that held countless social networks, charitable organizations, and formal and informal institutions together. Once it became normal for families to have two full-time working parents, families often found themselves too busy keeping their heads above water to even think about having friends over for dinner, let alone to volunteer for multiple community organizations.

To be clear, I don’t think the solution to our loneliness epidemic is for all moms to quit their jobs. But I do think most mothers of young children would prefer to work part-time, and that many Dads wish they could work less and be with their families more, too. This is often easier to achieve for those of us in the “laptop class,” who may be able to move to an area with a lower cost of living and work remote, flexible jobs. It’s much harder for blue-collar parents; they’re the ones who could stand to benefit the most from policies like federally funded maternity leave or a child allowance. Those conversations are really important to have.

But when I reflect on the Britt speech, it’s those well-educated, middle-class, part-time-working or full-time-homemaking moms that I think of. They’re the ones who have more power than they know.

They suffer from the rootlessness that characterizes our era. They bear the brunt of our lack of an alloparental “village” full of older women to share wisdom and help with childcare. And, yes, they know all too well how isolating the four walls of a comfortable suburban home can be. But they’re also the ones whose hands are rocking the cradle. They’re the ones organizing meal trains when new babies arrive. They’re the ones who tend the complex and powerful social ecosystem that their family inhabits. And, when they have the bandwidth to do so, they can be the ones who create and maintain the character-forming institutions that are so essential to the health of our society.

Everyone has heard of Moms for Liberty, and I’m a fan of CanaVox. But I wonder: have any of you readers created or contributed to institutions—formal or informal—that you believe are making the world a better place? This could be something as big as starting a school, or something as small as committing to host regular gatherings.

I’d love to know how you’ve connected with other people in your community, and how you found each other. Are you working to build a tight-knit circle of like-minded families who want to raise their kids without access to technology like smartphones? Are you consciously cultivating a habit of greeting your neighbors? Have you found ways to create communities of mutual support even among people with different political or religious views?

If soo, I’d love to hear about it. Please feel free to comment below, or to reach out to me via email or twitter if you’d be open to an interview via phone or email. And, if you would, I’d be so grateful if you could share this post with others who might have institution-building stories of their own.